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Lena Kuntz Spoiled the Picture
(and other New Year's Resolutions)
by Jeanette A. Lintelman
For twenty years I have started the year with firm a commitment to lose weight, and save money. I probably have every diet book known to man on my shelves and in fact I have two of Atkins’ books in use as shims on an old computer table that is used as a paper storage table. In a file in the “w” section of my file cabinet I have Weight Watchers pamphlets that go back maybe ten years along with prepaid coupons for meetings.
In the past twenty years I have made spaghetti using bean sprouts, spaghetti squash, and French green beans. I have made orange sherbet from powder skim milk and concentrated orange juice and chocolate bars from mixing crushed pineapple and low fat powered cocoa mix and then freezing this in thin layers. Frozen grapes, frozen orange pieces, frozen yoghurt, and grilled cottage cheese on toast with pineapple were considered delicacies by me.
I have drunk eight glasses of water a day, carried water around in plastic bottles, and consumed too many to count diet beverages each day. I know where the best rest rooms in Pittsburgh are located.
Adding exercise to a good food program is important. Every healthy diet program preaches this. I went through the old CCAC Ridge Avenue fat density program about fifteen years ago. The YMCA program in Sewickley including the warm water exercise program and I even joined the Nautilus gym at that YMCA until some muscle man ratted me out to the proctor for breaking in line ahead of him—the big baby. Most all of the fitness centers in Allegheny County have been used by me. I have participated in aerobic classes, too. Oh, and for many years I used the North Hills High School pool to swim laps on adult swim nights.
“Home equipment,” my family doctor advised. “Get a stationary bike and you can bike your way to health while you watch television.”
I have a stationary bike that even counts the calories you use It makes the best darn clothes rack you could ever imagine. Each of the handle bars gives you room to drape shirts and blouses until you can hang them up and the seat is a good place to put folded towels. How about one of those contraptions you hang on a door knob and then attach the lines that run from it to you feet and wrists? When you raise an arm a leg comes up too. The best thing about this thing is that you can hang it on the back of a door and never ever see it again.
What about walking? Walking is the best exercise known to man. In fact you can get a dog and have man’s best friend walk with you. Did that. Owned a Shih Tzu and a mixed Golden for longer than I care to remember. The Mall? Walked it. I walked North Hills Village before it became the strip mall it is today and walked the outside perimeter also in rain, in snow, but not ice. One big healthy suggestion is to get up an hour earlier and do the walk. Did that every day before work for over a decade. The best part of walking that mall in the morning was going to Eat and Park for breakfast.
Supplements? I could sell you supplements.
Group support programs? Check! Made some great friends actually from many of these programs.
My father told my sister and me a story as children about his class picture from grade school. He was standing in a position that had him leaning opposite of everyone in the picture. His hair was a mess and looked like he needed a comb really bad. His shirt was half in and half out of his pants. Evidently his father had a good laugh at the picture of his beloved son. My father pointed to his classmate Lena and responded, “Well, Lena Kuntz spoiled the picture.”
So when Margie or I would complain about the outcome of something being someone else’s fault he would remind us. “Ahh, Lena Kuntz spoiled the picture.” And I’m fatter than ever and don’t even ask me about the money. Thank goodness for Lena or I’d have absolutely no excuse.
Jeanette offers a variety of programs for clubs in our area. Call her at (412) 921-4386 for more information.
